Divorce impacts the entire family in negative ways –
even when divorce is the right thing to do. Divorce dynamics, turmoil, and trauma impact children in many ways. Significant factors in the trauma of divorce for children come from their need for care emotionally & physically.
"...When parents understand they have the power to reduce the turmoil & trauma their children will suffer due to divorce..."
It may not seem like it, but this is good news. When parents understand they have the power to reduce the turmoil & trauma their children will suffer due to divorce, things can change for the child. Regardless of age, divorce changes the dynamic of the family. As children grow & are more able to process that change is occurring, it can be frustrating and scary.
Parents can reduce the turmoil for their children by learning how age impacts the child’s perception & reaction to divorce.
Here are a few ways children perceive & deal with the tension of divorce:
Children to 18 months old:
may be more irritable, clingy, & have emotional outbursts.
Children 18 months to 3 years old:
may want more attention than usual, resist toilet training, return to sucking their thumb, develop a fear of abandonment, & worry their parents may stop loving them.
Children 3 to 6 years old:
can understand when there is uncertainty. At this age, children can ‘feel’ the future is uncertain, have unpleasant thoughts, keep their anger inside, & begin having nightmares.
Children 6 to 11 years old:
wrestle with feelings of abandonment & may wonder if their parents are divorcing them. They may try to rescue the marriage, blame themselves, or blame one parent. Their anger may be expressed by fighting, becoming anxious, depressed, having stomach aches, & headaches.
As parents & caregivers, you can change this negativity.
You can change how divorce negatively impacts your child. In fact, in 2016, a study by Luecken et al. found that a mother’s warmth toward the child positively impacted children 15 years after the divorce.
Hale Strategies is waiting to help you find the strategies just like this that work to help your children adjust to divorce. Our parent coaching, co-parent coaching, & parent coordination strategies are empirically tested & will allow you to change the harmful impact divorce has on your children (Whitehurst et al., 2008).
Click on ‘free consultation’ throughout the website & fill out the information or call us at 325-999-3445 to connect with mediators of West Texas and beyond.
Don't let your divorce negatively affect your children.
A parent coordinator will equip you with the tools to help you alleviate the pain that divorce can inflict on your loved ones. If conflict is common in your household, take a moment to schedule your free consultation with us today. We’re here to help you and your family come out of this with a more stable & healthy future through services such as mediation and online parent coaching specifically tailored to your unique situation.
