A separation or divorce does not end your responsibility as a parent. Parents are forever. Both parents must attempt to continue their vital role in their children’s lives. Children need the ongoing interest and concern of their parents. They must feel they have two parents who love them, even if those parents cannot continue their relationship.
Many people dealing with separation or divorce are not emotionally available to their children. Feelings of isolation, despair, depression, loneliness, grief, guilt and a decrease in self-confidence are troubling side effects of splitting the family. You may worry about finances, a social life, employment, fulfillment of sexual needs, and the welfare of your children.
How you feel about yourself will affect how your children think about themselves. How you cope with your separation or divorce will largely determine how your children cope.
You are at a crossroads and can choose between alternative routes leading toward or away from cooperative coparenting.
One road leads to living in the past, nurturing bitterness, trying to turn your children against your former partner, and little cooperation with your coparent. This destructive road will lead to trouble for you, your former partner, and your children.
The other road leads to opportunities for you and your coparent to cooperate increasing feeling of being a successful parent again. Using this difficult time for growth and gaining conflict management skills can benefit the parent/child relationship. You can know yourself better, restore self-confidence and reach goals that make your life productive, satisfying, and meaningful.
Parenting is never easy. All parents make mistakes. But if you have good relationships with your children and they feel loved and accepted, they are in a better position to understand and forgive your mistakes and remember your goodness.
- Excerpt from AFCC parent resource.
For more information about Cooperative Coparenting, online parent coaching, and mediation call Hale Strategies, LLC at 325-999-3445 or fill out the contact form.
